In this episode Trent and his wife Laura discuss their recent cancer diagnosis, what they’ve learned spiritually from this trial, and how you can help them.
Transcription:
Trent:
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I put cancer in the thumbnail and that’s what we have. We have a cancer diagnosis. Not me though, but for my wife Laura. And we wanted to share today just what we are going through, the story behind what happened, what we’ve learned from this, especially spiritually, what we’ve learned from all of this, and then finally how you guys can just help us out as we’re going through this difficult time. So when it comes to cancer, it’s particular kind starts with letter B. It’s my favorite body part of yours, frankly. Brain. Brain
Laura:
Never gets old. That joke never gets old
Trent:
Brain cancer. We’ve been spiritually attacked. We’ve had to record this four times.
Laura:
It’s our fourth time
Trent:
Recording because the mic doesn’t work or this or that. There’s a lot of attacks. There’s a lot of attacks, but I think there’s also a lot of good that comes from it. And so we wanted to talk about that today. So why don’t we just start with just how this happened.
Laura:
Yeah. I was telling my friends earlier and Trent and the first three times that I’ve recorded that the most insulting part of all of this is will be when I mention that I brain cancer to people and they’re like, that checks out. And I’m like, I don’t have any symptoms, though it was found incidentally. They’re like, okay,
Trent:
But no, that’s the thing.
Laura:
Not really. I don’t have any
Trent:
Symptoms, no headaches, no seizures. We found out it’s kind of like a homeless person story.
Laura:
Hey, that is my joke.
Trent:
You did it the first three times and it’s not my fault. This didn’t work. So
Laura:
It was for a study that paid $400 and you get a free health workup. And I tell people that’s like a homeless person donating plasma and finding out that they have aids and you have to tell people and they’re like, so can I still donate the plasma? And me, I’m like, so do I still get the $400? And they’re like, no, you don’t qualify for the study anymore. That has really been the worst part of all this is that I never got the hundred.
Trent:
Was your homeless person just the nanny from that old show?
Laura:
Times’s a tough, okay friend, Trisha to age
Trent:
12. This Trisha, why is Mr.
Laura:
Sheffield
Trent:
With dad? Me? She has AIDS and is trying to make money at plasma now. Don’t get any money from syndication. I worked
Laura:
For the union that got corrupted with the whole thing, darling.
Trent:
So what happened was through friends, we providentially were guided to an Alzheimer’s study. And then ironically enough, neither of us has Alzheimer’s. We have something, although I think that could even be worse frankly. But they gave us, we were going to get paid $400. You get a free workup, A free MRI.
Laura:
Yeah, we never would’ve found this, which is such a gift they think. And then we’ll tell the story, but just to give a quick synopsis of what they think the diagnosis is either a grade two or a grade three glioma. So gliomas come in different grades. The first one is basically a benign, but it happens more in children, better prognosis. Grade twos and threes progress to grade four, and a grade four is a death sentence. So we are really grateful that we are hoping that we caught this early.
Trent:
We keep hoping on the rung. It’s not even grade one. We start with grade zero, which would be a smudge on the MR mri. We’re like maybe it’s a smudge.
Laura:
Maybe this is, yeah, cartilage. I told one of the neurosurgeons in my appointment, I did jiujitsu once and I fell hard. He’s like, that is not what this is. You have brain cancer. This is not because you were a klutz and you tried jujitsu once.
Trent:
This is not like a taco shop where we accidentally got your order wrong. Oh, I’m sorry. You wanted the refried beans on the regular beans. My mistake.
Laura:
Oh, I’m sorry. Now you’re dead.
Trent:
No, it’s so first hoping for smudge, then hoping for grade one or focal cortical dysplasia. And then now it’s like we’re hoping it’s, it’s still grade too hoping and doesn’t come
Laura:
Back. We will not know though until pathology is back after my surgery, which we’ll get to. So basically the story begins with my friend Sarah who had four children and then a gap in her children. And then she had three young children all in a row in her early forties, which all children are blessings. Catholic disclaimer, but that’s very hard. And so when she was pregnant with her third, I sent her money. I don’t remember her sending her money, but apparently I did. And she thought that I was nice and so she joined my
Trent:
Book club. She knew You’re nice.
Laura:
Yeah, thank you. That was a jump cut edit. I was like, say the thing again.
Trent:
We’re not practicing boxing. We could do that
Laura:
Though. If you want my avian arms.
Trent:
No, it’s like all the energy is going up here to try to help you. I let
Laura:
My arms go.
So I sent her money, she joined my book club as part of the book club. We’re part of a well read moms group instead of reading pilgrim at Tinker Creek last year, which we were all burned by the end of the book list. No offense, well read moms, but we decided and took a vote to read a book called Priest and Beggar, which is about venerable Father Al Schwartz. And so she signed up for the study and then let us know about the study and Father Al will come up later. He’s who we’re praying to for the intercession
Of, so she signed up for the study. We dragged our feet on it. We did not sign up for the study this year though. We have had a lot of medical expenses and so we decided to do it for the free health workup. I burned my leg really bad on Valentine’s Day and ended up in the hospital twice. I was like, sure, I’ll take the labs that are free. You do a memory test, you get some labs done and you do an MRI and a PET scan. And the MRI came back that I have a glioma that was on May 12th that I got that MRI done on May 19th. They called me and let me know that I needed to go see a doctor. They’re like, we’re just a study. We don’t
Trent:
Diagnose. All we can do is tell you there’s something that looks bad.
Laura:
And I thought, great. Unfortunately, and fortunately my field of study was in neuro nursing primarily, and that was where I spent the majority of my time as a nurse. So there are discrepancies all the time on people’s MRIs. They took 1700 pictures. So I was like, sweet, it’s old injury, whatever. And then I read possible CNS neoplasm, which means brain tumor. And I ran up to Trent. I have a brain tumor to go and cry.
Trent:
And that’s like getting hit with a sledgehammer and then immediately you start with a, nah, I couldn’t be that. I’m sure because she’s the healthy one. I’m the one who spent much of our marriage making nightly runs to
Laura:
McDonald’s. Yeah, when I’m using root powder as dry shampoo, I’m like, does it even matter? I have a brain tumor. Why am I doing this
Trent:
Using that fake deodorant? That’s probably just flour.
Laura:
Oh, let me tell you. I’m like, okay, I don’t think it was the aluminum that did me under if
Trent:
I’m being honest,
Laura:
But
Trent:
You’re the health conscious one. And then this comes up.
Laura:
So May 19th, they called me and let me know the neurologist had a cancellation. May 19th is a Monday. They had a cancellation for Wednesday. Without that cancellation first available would’ve been middle of August. To give you an idea of how fast God has been moving through all of this, I see that neurologist, he confirms that I do have a brain tumor. He refers me to a neurosurgeon who I did not end up going with because he did not have any reviews online. And I’m not going to go to a doctor that doesn’t have any reviews online.
Trent:
It’s kind of like when you do Airbnb, a house will look nice and it’s just like new. You’re like, well, what’s the worst that could happen if it’s a bad house you stay at? But if you’re looking at brain surgeons like new,
Laura:
Don’t want to quite take the same risk. I don’t even go to a restaurant that has below a 4.2. And so yeah, I’m not taking a risk with that. So my friend Sarah was in Morocco at the time without her kids, so she was able to devote her time to me. She’s a connector. So she was trying to find people to connect me to that could get me a neurosurgeon to see she, because of that book by Father Al, father Al died of a LS. So she befriended this couple at her church who are really, really kind and the wife has a LS. Their names are Kelly and Jeff. Jeff happens to be a Catholic neuroradiologist. A neuroradiologist is just someone who reads the reports of MRIs basically. So he called me and was able to personally get me appointments to go see the first two neurosurgeons that we saw who were really fantastic and really great and top of the line
Trent:
If we didn’t have these people’s help, the first consult we would’ve gotten with a neurosurgeon even before, not a neurologist.
Laura:
A neurologist even refers you to a neurosurgeon.
Trent:
Would’ve been like August.
Laura:
Yeah, August.
Trent:
I think you would’ve gone batty by then and I would’ve come home and seen you with an ice pick thinking I could get it out myself.
Laura:
No, I’d fake a seizure. I’m all in. I’d fake a seizure. Then you get to sleep afterwards. You get really tired after seizures. So I’d be like, woo-hoo,
Trent:
I’ll give you the Alka salts, the al. Well you know how to do it real. You worked at a hospital. I wouldn’t know. I’m like, I’ll pop in. I’ll just remember the scene from Eraser, the 1996 underrated Arnold Schwarzenegger film where a guy has to fake a seizure. He pops in Alka Seltzer tablets basically. But no, I’m so grateful that our friends on earth and in heaven who we’ve asked help from providentially got us into seeing a neurosurgeon very quickly.
Laura:
So we saw those two neurosurgeons and they went vastly different from how we thought that they would go. We thought at that point that I had a benign tumor, a good friend of ours, after we found out about our first MRI needed an MRI with contrast. So he called that in for us to be done that night. So that’s how fast things had moved. I had already had an MRI with contrast done to take with me to the neurologist. It did not take up contrast, which is a sign that it is benign. So we thought it was benign going into our neurosurgeon’s appointment and we thought even if it was benign, they take it out. And the first two neurosurgeons recommended watchful waiting for us. They said, please don’t poke it unless it pokes you and it’s right next to your speech center and we don’t feel comfortable really operating on this at this point.
Trent:
You took that pretty hard.
Laura:
I did. Pardon me. I did. I was joking around with the doctor and I think he was like, is she taking this seriously? But it’s a coping mechanism,
Trent:
Something. And then as soon as we left his office,
Laura:
I lose it. This poor woman came up to me and consoled me like an angel. It brings tears to my eyes. She’s like, you have to believe in God. You have to trust in Jesus. He will get you through this. You will live. He was like Jesus, she needs to be there for her three children. She prayed over me. It was just truly an angel and I’ll never see her again. But during it, I think the doctor was like, does she understand the gravity of this? I was joking around about it basically, but then I lost it when I got out
Trent:
Of that. How bad is a brain tumor, Michael? What? $10 to take it out? Totally.
Laura:
I’m just a brain tumor. So then Trent took me out to eat and that was probably the most depressing meal that he has ever had in his life because I just cried the whole time and he was just eating unlimited meat at
Trent:
Everyone has different coping mechanisms. Mine is just to eat away my sorrows. And so surprisingly enough, that’s why I’m just still amazed. I’m the one who eats red meat, who uses real deodorant and somehow like, wow, I still am. I’m still here. But yeah, so then we are just,
Laura:
I don’t wreak because of my aluminum and I have four polyps that are probably unchecked, not going to check ’em out.
Trent:
So then we’re going from that and we actually disagreed about how we were going to move forward.
Laura:
I wanted to find a neurosurgeon that would operate. I had read some studies online.
Trent:
I see her looking up Expedia to Mexico City.
Laura:
Well, while we’re there they do mommy tummy tucks and some other,
Trent:
We could throw it all in for a package for you. So she was like, I want and I understand because the one with the tumor in your head, get this thing out of me.
Laura:
But he did not agree. And so I said, I will totally trust your judgment as the spiritual leader of this home because I am just that submissive. This is actually what I said and I’m making it sound like I didn’t say that.
Trent:
No. And I told her, I get that you’re upset,
Laura:
But I would like you to look into that. I
Trent:
Get that you’re stressed about a tumor, but I’m really worried. I told her interventions. There’s a reason we say it’s not like it’s brain surgery and then now it’s brain surgery. There’s a reason we use that as an example of things that are hard or not hard and that something could go wrong. That there especially they’re cutting around in your speech center, your cognitive areas. It’s not like
Laura:
It’s in my arm.
Trent:
It’s not just taking a tooth out. So I was just thinking, okay, if this isn’t that big a deal, maybe we shouldn’t bug it. And we start talking about the tumor. It’s a person. Some people will name him, which is weird, but it’s like, well, I don’t want to mess with him if he’s not messing with us. And it’s like, what am we saying here?
Laura:
I know. I’m like, this is not California. You cannot live here rent free. You get out of
Trent:
Here. We are evicting you. You’re getting evicted today.
Laura:
We’re in Texas now.
Trent:
Yeah. So at first I was really worried and then I went and I just looked at all the studies I go and just getting different medical advice online, trying to read studies that have words with 12 syllables in them. And by the way, I’m not giving anyone, we are not giving anybody medical advice. This is what we’ve decided. This is what we have decided. Do not take medical advice from us. If you need medical advice, use chat GPT. That’s what I would,
Laura:
Yeah, GPT has been wrong about basically everything at this point. It told me it was this benign thing that’s basically a birthmark. It told me that I didn’t have this other thing that I have. And so now I just Google it to know if I’ll live. If it says that I’m going to die, I am like Judge G Bt said that I’m going to die, so I’m
Trent:
Going to live. I’m going to be okay. But no, just going through everything. And I was reading a bunch of different studies and I just came away thinking, okay, watching and waiting. Once again, this is our story. You talk to your own doctor about where you’re at. I was just thinking, okay, well wait a minute. That might be good advice of Laura was like 70, but you’re in your mid thirties. The odds of this growing are getting worse or getting more ingrained
Laura:
Are high.
Trent:
They’re high. And so it’s like why would I even wait? And then okay, well we’ll work on it when it’s bad then. And also you’re younger, you’re in your mid thirties, so you have more neuroplasticity. Your brain is going to have a better ability to heal from a surgery than if we did this when you’re 50 or 45. So just seeing all of that, I was like, okay, I felt like God led me. It was good just to hear the initial things, but then to really think, okay, I think it’s us.
Laura:
It’s also good. Those two doctors were incredibly competent to know those aren’t our doctors.
Trent:
And it led us to another doctor who is the right fit to do this resection, to take out this portion of your brain
Laura:
Basically. So that doctor basically at the end, I said at the end of that long and painful day, we thought it was going to be benign it. We thought they were going to take it out, they didn’t want to. I said, what if I disagree with you? And he said that I would send you to this certain doctor. And he named the name and I was like, okay, send in a referral. He’s like, okay, but you need to get an MRI in six weeks and then we’ll send over the referral. So I’m like, okay, whatever. So that night I go home and I’m an emotional mess. And my friend Blessy, who is truly an angel to our family, she’s a very good friend and a very good person. She was diagnosed with cancer. And two days after her diagnosis, she found out that she was pregnant and that she went in for a biopsy, like a bone marrow biopsy. And she found out through that pregnancy test that she was pregnant. And so no doctor would take her case unless she got an abortion.
And so she obviously refused to get an abortion and she was even pressured by people that she really loved in her life and really trusted. And she did not. And she had this baby and now her chemo appears to be working and the baby is a year old. Her name is Lucia. And it’s just this beautiful, beautiful testament to life. So that night though, she woke up from sickness after her chemo and she said, Laura, do you need anything? I said, yes, I need a neurosurgeon. At this point, Trent and I had decided we were both on the same page that we wanted to operate because I wasn’t going to operate if Trent wasn’t comfortable with that. So I wanted truly him to be okay with that and for him to lead that charge. So she said, let me ask my oncologist. Her oncologist that she now was with was the only doctor that would take her case and he’s super Catholic and super wonderful. So he responded right away and said, she needs to see this doctor, which was the name of the doctor that the other doctor had recommended. I will text her right now and get an appointment with her. And he did. And she stopped,
Trent:
Which normally would’ve taken months, probably
Laura:
Months probably. And he said she’ll see her Monday at one 30. And so that’s how I was able to get an appointment. She normally doesn’t even see people on Monday. She normally sees people on Thursdays, which is just really a testament I think, and something that will go over later on. Things that I’ve learned too, like the communion of saints, just everything has been through the intercession of somebody else who is loved by another person. And so it’s truly been a reason to be Catholic for me. If the saints are more alive than these people here on earth, how much more can they ask for our good in heaven? So yeah, so it’s been a beautiful testament. So we decided to go with this doctor. She knew all the most recent studies. She was very comfortable operating on this type of glioma. She does that all the time.
Trent:
She the most experience,
Laura:
And she knew what MRIs to order we’re at a research hospital so they could order other MRIs that wouldn’t have been available at the other facility. Also that could show if I had certain genes that made that tumor more amenable to therapy and things like that. So it’s been really the place we think that I’m supposed to be. And hopefully we caught it early.
Trent:
Yeah, that’s going to be July 23rd. This should release a few days before Laura’s surgery. Your prayers, especially for that date. If everything goes according to plan, that’s when she’ll go in. Then I’m going to take probably about a week and a half off just to care for you. And then your prayers will be appreciated. It will be. I mean it’ll be a big recovery. I mean it brain surgery,
Laura:
They have learned through two MRIs that I will not need to be awake. They thought originally that I would need to be awake right next to my speech center. And
Trent:
They were worried your speech would be all different. Laura Lee.
Laura:
Yeah, we always say Laura Lee. That’s how I’m going to speak afterwards, but I’m like, I don’t have a problem talking. Trent wishes that I had a problem. If you
Trent:
Talk like that, I would still love you so much. I’d say you ate the whole wheel of cheese. I’m not even mad.
Laura:
I’m impressed. Really? Baxter,
Trent:
You sound, you would sound like a minion and then the girl squirrel from the sword and the stone.
Laura:
Yes, Merlin. Who’s in love with Merlin? Oh, you’re my Merlin, blah, blah, blah.
Trent:
No, and Arthur once again,
Laura:
I thought he was, she was in love with Merlin.
Trent:
No, well, oh no. There’s the big squirrel
Laura:
That, oh yeah, no, that’s
Trent:
The cute, the little squirrel. You’re my cute little squirrel. Yes, that’s right. But I mean that would be, I couldn’t even imagine.
Laura:
I do it. I would do it if it meant that I got to keep my speech. Every hater on the internet is like no, but I guess
Trent:
Can’t imagine just, yeah, six hours or eight hours of that away so they
Laura:
Can preserve it. No poke. I get to be asleep, which is really nice. And then also it seems like it produce something called two hg, which means that it’s probably an IDH mutation tumor, which is, there are more targeted therapies for that now. New drugs that have come out that are so expensive, which is why I’m so grateful for everybody who has ever donated to Catholic answers or to this podcast that they’re able to provide us with insurance because I truly do not know what people would have
Trent:
To afford to afford brain surgery and the recovery if I had to just do it all by myself. I’d have to rob a bank every day to pay for it basically. So the support of the podcast has been just so helpful. Thank you. That and thankful to Catholic Answers who have been able to support us, provide us with health insurance just to be able to do that. So yeah, so now we’re going to go into that. So your prayers in that would be really helpful. You want to talk about what we’ve learned?
Laura:
Sure. Just real quick though, the recovery will look like the first weeks are hard because my skull will be broken. So then... Read more on Catholic.com